This is an IELTS Writing Opinion Essay Sample of a band 7 essay. Try to go through the essay and then read the examiner’s evaluation of the task at the end.
In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government, or the family?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In many western countries, an increasing number of elderlies are flocking to retirement homes. Undoubtedly, these organizations provide good care as well as nursing facilities. Thus, whether families or governments should pay for these care homes becomes a question of debate. In my opinion, if children of the seniors are financially and physically well, they should be held accountable to pay; otherwise, governments should make the payments.
If a senior’s children are economically sound, they should consistently bear the hospitality charges rather than the government. This is because, in recent years, more and more people are moving to these care centers. Therefore, paying for all these seniors can put a financial strain on the state. If seniors or their families pay for these retirement homes, the government would be able to invest these funds in other prominent sectors such as education and healthcare. Additionally, if elders wish to move to the care homes, the least their children can do is to pay for them. It is their moral duty towards the ailing parents.
However, a few children might be unable to pay for their parent’s ancillary services. To illustrate an example, a disabled child not only finds it hard to take care of himself but also cannot earn for the family. His difficulties preclude him from taking the family’s responsibility. Another problem could be with children from impoverished families. In many developing countries, a majority of the population earn little amount to make both ends meet. As a result, making payments to senior homes can be an extra burden on these offspring. Therefore, in all such cases, state governments should pay to these assisted living facilities.
In conclusion, it is vital to consider the economic status of a senior’s children before making them pay. Considering all these factors, young people must invest in pension schemes so that they can bear their expenses themselves in their twilight years.
Collocations are an important part of an IELTS Essay and they help you score higher bands in Lexical Resources if you use them accurately. The collocations are highlighted in the essay above. They help you to write in specifics and also enhance the level of your speech.
- If you look at the essay above:
- the ideas are connected and consistent with each other so the delivery is just appropriate.
- the word choices are helping the writer to supplement his/her opinion at one go.
- there is no misuse of passive voice which is generally found in essay tasks.
- there are some linking words which may sound mechanical but do not impede communication and so are well-accepted
- the punctuation marks are highly accurate
- the world length – 315 words are acceptable and the candidate is able to achieve the task.
- TA – 7 LR 7 CC 7 GRA 7
Overall – 7 Bands
- Written by – Manju Kumari
Edited by – Manish Pandey
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