IELTS Exam’s writing module checks a candidate’s writing skills by analysing their essays in Task 2 of the Writing paper. In this article, you will see a comparative analysis of a Band 8 and Band 6.5 essay.
This will clear your perspective and give you a proper understanding of how to work on your own writing tasks.
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words
Many youngsters gain a rich learning experience either through traveling or working independently before starting graduate degrees. A small break between school and university studies can provide life’s invaluable lessons to the children who are at the threshold of adulthood. In many cases though, such experiences throw the youngsters on a path of misery and doom.
I believe that the prime advantage of travel or work is it can help adolescents gain practical experience in life’s uncertain situations. When youngsters are encouraged to set-off on their independent journeys to experience life, they often come across difficult situations where their decision-making competency is tested. Being able to determine the hardships of making wrong decisions while interacting with people in the real world, furnishes them with capabilities and learning that lasts a lifetime. Steve Jobs, for instance, the founder of the behemoth Apple Inc, took his time out with his college friend to travel Asia. The meditative techniques that he learned and the holiness of the land gave him the teachings which, he proclaimed, were helpful for him to establish and sustain the biggest and most innovative digital products empire worth billions.
However, in some sensitive cases, this tour and travel can also result in some reckless and tricky situations if the high-school students are not careful about the consequences of their own decisions. Many young Europeans and Americans, as per several reports, who travel to unknown destinations, have either been a victim of burglary, rape, and drugs or they have entirely succumbed to the difficulties of there bitter travel experiences which has brought them misery and depression. Concerned parents, knowing such oddities of the world, disallow their late-teens to venture out on such expeditions; and as a result, many families also get into worthless familial feuds. Forcibly, the children, then, have to enter degree schools with more mental trauma than happiness as their decisions were not fulfilled.
Conclusively, I feel that a travel break between high-school and college years does, to one extent, offer multiple life-changing experiences; however, if the experience turns out to be a bitter one, then many bright minds can also lose their sane sense of ownership and accountability or even forget the reason why they chose to travel. It requires a significant amount of heartfulness and open-mindedness on the part of families that agree to let their children travel solo or without guidance.
Number of words – 396
The essay above is an 8 Band IELTS essay. I have compiled it after breaking a 6.5 band essay submitted by one of my students.
The 6.5 Band essay is given below.
Many youngsters have gained empirical experience either through traveling or working independently before starting graduation degrees. A small break between school and university studies can provide life’s invaluable lessons to the children who are at the threshold of adulthood. Such kind of independence and learning is promoted in numerous countries. Practical knowledge and experience gained through travel or work can help young adults to shape their perspectives on life. I will discuss about the benefits and the downside of this idea in this essay.
I believe, the prime advantage of travel or work is it can help adolescents gain pragmatic experience in life’s uncertain situations. When youngsters are encouraged to set-off on their independent journey to experience life, they often come across difficult situations where their decision-making competency is tested. Be it travel or work, young adults are constantly making judgements and hard decisions to learn about the real world, which is far-fetched from their previous academic life of school days. For example, these days many students join corporate firms to do internships so they can bring their practical experience to their bachelor studies later.
However, it can also result in some reckless and tricky situations sometimes if high-school students are not careful about the consequences of their own decisions. Yet I believe travel and work can bring invaluable knowledge and experience to youths and can give them a chance to be creative in their future studies. For example, according to MIT college in United States of America, students tend to bring more innovative ideas to the classroom from their experience gained outside of academic institutions.
To sum up, the benefits of travel or work before resuming studies are far more enriching and fruitful. It can help students in efficient learning and grasp the academic theories with their own practical experience.
Important Read – How to write an Advantage and Disadvantage Essay in IELTS Exam?
My name is Manish, and I have been helping IELTS Candidates to secure higher band scores in their General and Academic Papers. I am curating this blog to reach out to more candidates and to help them accomplish their dreams.
If you are reading this and would like to talk to me, you may reach out to me at +91-8586057110. Please drop a WhatsApp text as it is easy for me to revert here. You can also drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.